I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
