I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
