It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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