so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
