Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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