Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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