Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize