i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
