I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
