Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
