So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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