I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Farmville is her only friend.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
