I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
