she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
