so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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