I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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