Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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