I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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