Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
