I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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