i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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