tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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