I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize