Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm too high and old for this...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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