The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize