you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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