If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Too much gin, very little bucket
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
