Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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