Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
