The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
