4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
