I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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