Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
