Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
