Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
