You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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