Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
