We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
