he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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