come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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