Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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