have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
