we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
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S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need water and some morals
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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