I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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