Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
