Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
we're so committed to being not committed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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