I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
