we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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