Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize