Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
