you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
