i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
