he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize