Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
