I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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