Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
