If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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