I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
