wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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