you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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