NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
