Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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